My name is Marjorie Jean. I was born in Haiti (Lopital Saint Francois de salle). My mom and dad both left Haiti when I was almost 4, most of my life was with a village and every one would take turn. I love my mother’s side of the family. There’s Yeye my grandmother who’s a major character in the story of my life, my aunt Raphaelle, my two uncles Jeanjous (nickname I gave him) and Ciano (nickname also). I went to College St Louis de Bourdon and some the people in Haiti I consider part of my family are the friends I met there. I had an interesting childhood filled with play and pain. We moved a lot. My earliest memory was in Fantamara 27 #30. Those days Fantamara was the place to be. A wholesome town, paved and clean streets.
It was safe from what I recall. As things began to change with Aristide, Fantamara slowly began to change. Zenglendo broke into our beautiful home, and it was pretty violent. We moved shortly after. Then I lived in Croix-Des-Mission, Zenglendo broke into our home there too. That one was especially violent. Then I lived in La Plaine, Bon Repos Lilavois 11. Around that time, things were also bad politically so for months, every day before dawn we would head to Damien to sleep. We would set our bed on the floor in a room they used for presentation and the whole family slept. Damien is where my aunt’s husband worked and we were safe there because they had security. In the US, my mom had left my dad for good. My dad wasn’t too happy about it so his way of getting back at my mom was to split us. He decided that he would only subsidize our living (my brother and I) if we moved to his side of the family. At 12, I moved to Route De Freres…whewww. What an experience that was? It was rough. I looked forward to summers in Anse D’Hainault, Jeremie.
Those were the best times of my life. I truly believe that this story has led me exactly where I am today. I live in Washington, DC with my pride and joy, Rami. My office is in College Park, Maryland.
I transitioned into America at 17. In retrospect, it felt like my options were limited. At 17, I was happy to be, and stay in Haiti so the transition here wasn’t as easy. I had never spoken English before so I found it especially difficult, and it took me a year to be fluent. I missed my friends terribly, Anse D’Hainault, the smell, and the sun. I was placed in the lowest grade because I didn’t speak English. I was placed in the 9th grade, however I did all 4 grades in 2 ½ years because I did end up learning English rather quickly and I advocated for myself to anyone who would listen, so they moved me.
Growing up I believed that I wasn’t worthy enough and it showed up through overachievement. There was this part of me that sought to prove these people wrong. At times, the overachievement was at the expense of my mental health. I have had many “Aha!” moments that have propelled my personal decolonization journey, and I continue to have them. More recently, I have been having countless. I used to have a tendency to make excuses for white people based on the relationship I had with my white friends. I think my first “Aha!” moment was realizing that I couldn’t maintain friendship with white people who were color blind. I was simultaneously having this introspective audit asking myself “who are you without this…” and I never stepped foot in a Dominican hair salon to get my bone straight blow dry after that lol.
If I could reiterate one truth to my younger self it would be “Trust your gut Marjorie. Your body’s only goal is to work for you not against you. You are powerful.”
The tragic and untimely death of Nipsey Hustle was a turning point for me, it forced me to look at myself in a way I hadn’t. RAM Counseling was born shortly after that. I wanted to create a legacy that I could enjoy while I am here and the generations after me can continue to benefit from. RAM is short for Recast, Attune, and Maintain and this was the three-ponged process I underwent as I was grappling with being a new mom, the aftermath of a complicated delivery and the feelings that this baby of mine, Rami, was excavating.
When I dream of the future for mental health within Haiti, and Haitian community abroad, I want to see mental health be made available and accessible. We must also educate people, the community about the importance of mental health. Creating opportunities and educating can be done simultaneously. We have to be mindful about how each culture adapts so putting in place a representative for each community who can speak to the specific needs of that community will be vital.
To someone just kicking off their personal decolonization journey, in order to “remove the veil” of taking whiteness as truth I would say that reading is fundamental. We must read and educate ourselves. Bodies of culture cannot free ourselves from the shackles of white supremacy without educating ourselves.
Education is a form of activism. You are not alone. So many of us are going through this, I am going through this. It is a lifelong journey. Be open to learning and asking questions. Avoid making assumptions. Examine the ways you have been a gatekeeper and excavate those roots of internalized racism. There are so many moving parts to the work, you just have to start with one.
Join us Thursday, July 23rd at 5 pm EST for a chat on IG LIVE with Marjorie Jean and Fabiola Coupet over the Decolonization of Mental Health.
D.S. SERIES QUICK DIVE:
What does “decolonization” mean to you personally?
Total cultural ownership, living our truest most organic black lives selves, value ourselves and each other not on the basis of our proximity to whiteness, learning our history not from the perspective of the hunter but the lion.
What are you most proud of when thinking about being Haitian and Haitian culture?
Haitian pride is rooted in unwavering commitment and love for country. I think our founding fathers and mothers had a love that ran deep and that love still permeates within many of us, myself included. It’s a love that I teach my son now. I am intentional about the way he learns and will learn about Haiti.
If you were speaking to a group of elementary students about mental health, what is the message you would most want to share?
Don’t let anyone silence you. You have a story to tell. Your body is a library and it keeps all the stories. You cannot lie to your body. Listen to your body, talk gently to your body and get to know your body’s voice. Your body is innocent, it only manifests the way you feel about yourself. Be intentional and breathe often.
If you were speaking to a white man or woman about the mental health industry, what would you want them to know- what are key things they are probably missing? What can they do to not perpetuate the colonizing mindset and systems within the mental health industry?
If you are serious about being anti racist you first have to start with acknowledging how you have been complicit. Second, you have to do the work that it takes to be anti racist—not just read about it or talk about but be about it. Third, you must make amends without expecting anything in return. Lastly, you have to pave new ways. How will you act differently and that includes actionable steps.
ABOUT RAM COUNSELING:
RAM Counseling for Emotional & Traumatic Stress is helping men and women free themselves from the shackles of generational and attachment trauma, shame and toxic stress. It was founded by Marjorie Jean. Marjorie is a licensed psychotherapist in the District of Columbia, Maryland and New Jersey. She specializes in both attachment trauma, anxiety, depression and binge eating. Her treatment modalities are Brainspotting, DBT, narrative therapy and EMDR.
Click here to learn more about RAM Counseling.
You also can follow Ram on Facebook and Instragram.